Tuesday, 9 February 2016

My First Time Experience With Weed - A Nigerian Scary Account

There is a first time to everything, so says a popular maxim.

But what do you say to a teenager who feels like ingesting WEED for the very first time in his life? The excuse most victims tend to give could range from a number of several factors – exuberance, peer pressure or sheer curiosity.

Below is an interesting narration by a young Nigerian teenager who had just tasted weed for the first in his life:

I had just moved out of my parents’ house and was sharing a room with my "friend". I had no idea he smoked weed, despite his suspicious movements and signature weed scent (abi na odour?) barely two weeks after moving in with him, my worst fears were confirmed as he started bringing home his weed smoking buddies and they would occassionally roll a wrap and smoke it right there in the room or mix the weed with beans or spagehtti. Being a very curious person I always wondered what made them happy after smoking, so I decided to find out for myself (wrong move)

It was a very hot day in February, a Saturday I think it was, my friend was out as usual. I searched everywhere for his stash but couldn't find it so I decided to go and get mine. I arrived the weed joint all sweaty and nervous, half expecting to get mugged but nobody seemed to be aware of my presence there, they were all on different planets all expect one I concluded that he must be the seller so I approached him and the following conversation ensued:

Me: How far?
Weed seller: I dey
Me: I wan buy weed
Weed seller: How many parcels?
Me: Parcel ke? Iro oo, na just small i need
Weed seller: (laughs really hard) Bolo le leyi sha (meaning this guy is a dunce)

Apparently, a parcel of weed is that small wrap, I didn't know that. I thought it was something very large. I gave him N1,000 and he gave me a tiny wrap of weed with a white paper, I was surprised when he gave me 950 as change. I couldn't believe weed was that cheap.

On my way home, I decided not to smoke it but mix it with beans because i thought that it will be better that way (another wrong move). Long story short, I cooked beans and added the whole weed, ate it and called my friend, I told him “Ogbeni, I just ate weed oo and nothing happened to me. This one that you people will eat and be feeling funky, I don chop am oo.” My friend was like, “Ehen, you be strong man oo.”

I decided to take a quick nap before doing laundry, i woke up about 20 minutes later on the floor i was banging my head on the floor, and i couldn't stop, my heart beat was so audible and fast, everything was extra bright and extra loud. After a few minutes of head banging, i was able to get up from the floor,

I felt as if I had just gained access to a part of my mind that I never knew existed previously, it was scary and cool at the same time. I could feel the blood flowing in my veins (you have to experience it to believe it even though I strongly advise against it). I felt so uncomfortable in the room, it felt like i was in an oven suddenly a voice in my head whispered “Ogbeni bo aso e joor” (take off your clothes). I obeyed. The voice came again, “Oya sa re” (now run). That was when I realised that the weed had taken effect. I decided to take a shower to see if it will calm me down. But the water felt so hot on my skin I ran out of the bathroom.

I called my friend to see if he could help me make sense of what was going on but he laughed at me, he asked me the quantity of weed I took and i told him i used a whole parcel, he said, “Guyyyyy, you don high. If you no sleep in the next 30mins, you go mad o. Go chemist, make you go explain yourself.”

By this time things had escalated. I had a severe itch at the back of my head that wouldn't go away no matter how hard I scratched. I was convinced that the beating in my chest was an evil spirit that could only be killed with a punch. I ran to my neighbour champion and told him champion, “E jo e fun mi lese laya (champion, please punch me in the chest). Ti e ba gbami lese laya, mo ma ku oo (if you don't punch me, I will die oo)! He hissed and walked out having had enough of such nonsense from the boys in the boys quarters.

The voice in my head came again, “Iwo na o de gba ara e lese laya. Abi o ti fe ku ni?” (Why don't you punch yourself in the chest or do you want to die?) I punched and punched but there was no difference.

The house was getting hotter, the voice in my head was getting louder, the itch in my head was getting worse, and the evil spirit in my chest was getting louder. Then came the voice again, “Oya ma sare lo” (start running). I started running. But on getting outside in the sun, I felt cold so much that I was shivering. That didn't stop me from running anyway (I would have given Hussain Bolt a run for his money on that day).

On getting to the chemist, I realised I was bare footed. I told him I had a severe headache that I needed something to make me sleep immediately. He gave me the drug and I chewed it right there in his presence. Next I asked him to give me a drug for evil spirit. That was when he realised something was wrong with me and chased me out.

I got back home and tried to sleep but my heart beat wouldn’t let me. I ran back this time to a nurse in the area. The first thing she asked was, “Ki lo de. Oo wo bata ni?” (Why don't you have your shoes on?) I told her, “Jackie Chan ti gba bata lowo mi” (Jackie Chan collected my shoes). I was finally able to explain my situation to her. She took me in, tied something around my elbow and injected a liquid directly into my vein. I passed out immediately only to wake around 1.00am or 2.00am in the middle of the night with the worst kind of hunger I have ever felt in my life. I ate a whole loaf of butter field bread in one sitting without butter or tea.

I came home to a hero's welcome, my friend told me, “E be like say your head no carry am. But e go better make you try am once more so that you go dey use to it.”

The following day when the house was empty, I packed my Ghana-must-go bag and just like the prodigal son in the bible, I went back home to my parents. It has been a few years since that experience but the lesson I learnt is an unforgettable one. My curiosity hasn't gotten me in trouble again and my circle of friends has since changed.

The name of the author is withheld for obvious reason

Friday, 29 January 2016

LASU VC Pledges To Clear Outstanding Certificates In 4 Months (GOOD NEWS!)

A recent protest by LASU Undergraduates (photo credit: PremiumTimes)
In what might gladdens the hearts of past students (both in main and external campuses) of the institution, Prof. Olanrewaju Fagbohun, new vice-chancellor of Lagos State University (LASU) has given a reassurance that the ivory tower will expedite action on backlog of outstanding degrees and certificates in in the next four months.

Speaking with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN) in Lagos recently, Fagbohun explained that a task force would be put in place to resolve the perennial issue of backlog of certificates at the university’s External System.

Prof Olanrewaju Fagbohun
According to him, the management is aware of the problems in the system and is making all efforts to resolving them.

“The task force will search for the profile of students, identify the problems and proffer a solution to them”, he said.

The VC said that he had met with representatives of ‎students from all campuses of the institution for cooperation toward resolving the problem.

He explained that he was still using his office at the new faculty of science “because the building is central and as the VC, I can operate from ‎anywhere”, pending the renovation at the Administrative Block.

Fagbohun ‎told NAN that peace had returned to LASU because every member of the community was working together.

He said the nation had no reason to panic because of LASU. “The present administration is working assiduously to restore the lost glory of the institution.

LASU is an institution with staff and students full of potentials. It is an institution bubbling with students that have fantastic skills and ideas to be explored by the world”, the VC said.

NAN recalls that some students of the university’s External System (LASUES) had protested against non-release of their certificates for the past 10 years after graduation.

Some of them complained that they could not get jobs because they could not present their certificates.

Others, who were working, said they were sacked for their inability to produce their certificates.

Others claimed that they were not promoted by their employers because they could not prove their academic status.

Thursday, 28 January 2016

Oldest Matriarch In Ebute Metta Dies At 87 (PHOTOS)

Late  Agnes Babatunde

It has been weeks of mourning in Ebute Metta area of Lagos Mainland following the death of Late Mrs Agnes Onyekachukwu Babatunde (nee Okoisor), the oldest matriarch resident in the community.

An indigene of Umuagehe quarters, Ogboli-Ibusa in Oshimili North Local Government Area, Delta State, the deceased was said to have moved into Ebute Metta settlement about 70 years ago.

Mama (middle) with members of Ogboli Union (Women Wing)

Speaking with City Pulse, Mr Isaac Remilekun Babatunde, son of the late Agnes explained that the erstwhile Diokpa of Ogboli Union Worldwide (women wing) and Ada of the entire Okoisor clan got married to his late father, Israel Abiodun Ajayi-Babatunde, a native of Ogere-Remo in Ogun State.

“Back then, mama was living on Forsythe Street in Lagos Island where she berthed shortly after her arrival in Lagos. After her hubby from the first marriage died, she relocated to Shofuntere Street in Ebute Metta,” he said.

Late Ajayi-Babatunde and Agnes when they got married newly
A couple of years after her mourning period, she met and fell in love with Late Ajayi-Babatunde. Following a successful courtship, Agnes married and moved into his residence on LEDB 130 Iponri Village (where the present-day Low Cost Housing Estates now sit).

However in 1976, the couple relocated to Olaleye Village where her husband was nicknamed Baba Iponri due to his growing popularity. After spending decades in Abule Baba Egun area of Igbajo at Iponri, the couple moved again, this time to her last residence on the mainland – 6A Ojoniyun Street, Ebute Metta where she lost her husband.

Having given birth to 11 children, out of which five survived, Agnes struggled to cope with life after the demise of her beloved. She is one example of individuals who believed so much in love without cultural or ethnic barrier going by her marriage to a Yoruba man despite intense opposition from some of her people.

Mama with her grand and great grandchildren

Until her death which occurred in the wee hour of December 28, 2015, Agnes was fortunate enough to witness the birth of her 19th grandchild and 18 great grandchildren.

One of his two surviving sons, Mr Isaac Remilekun Babatunde, a staff of Surulere Local Government is married to the chief matron of Harvey Maternity Centre – Mrs Bosede Ajayi-Babs (nee Adeyemi). 

Isaac Remilekun Babatunde
 Isaac Remilekun Babatunde with his wife, Bosede

He was also an old student (1980 set) of the popular Nigerian People’s High School (NIGERPECO) at Kano Street, Ebute Metta (East), Lagos.

"Sympathisers, Former Tenants & Old School Mates Who Plan To Call Can Reach Him on His Mobile Via 08039508207"

Friday, 22 January 2016

Why 2016 Is Right Time For You To Start Your Dream Business / Investment

In January 2016 alone, Nigerians woke up to these screaming headlines...

* Bauchi State terminates appointment of 16 management staff of the state fire service

* Governor Rochas Okorocha sacks over 3,000 civil servants in Imo, 19 parastatals affected

* Zenith Bank relieves over 1,200 employees of their job

* First City Monumental Bank (FCMB) offloads over 700 workers

* Konga, an e-commerce hub, relieves 10 per cent of its work force (80 staff)

Are you still kidding yourself that your job is secured?

Whether you are a civil servant, banker or importer of goods, you sure have cause to fret and worried. With the value of the naira perennially struggling against the tide of the dollar and the slump of oil price on the international scene, leaving your chances of survival to the government alone is a big RISK!

If you ever dream of one day showcasing your given talents, going into craftsmanship or starting a business in Nigeria, now is the right time. The present state of things in the country today, going by the above-mentioned screaming headlines does not guarantee anybody a steady flow of income from one means, especially if you are a salaried worker. Guess you have school fees to pay, accommodation rent beckoning, daily feeding allowance for the family, stipends to aging parents and other dependants to grapple with. 

What is more? 

If you survive the sack scare, chances are you could still be owed backlog of salaries. I am not trying to be pessimistic but to prepare you ahead as the country is currently experiencing what could at best be perceived as a partial economic recession.

I once had the privilege of asking a friend, “Ben, what will you do if your boss fires you today?” He turned around sharply and looked at me. “If my boss fires me?” he repeated the question absent-mindedly. Obviously, he was stunned.

Three days later, his call rudely woke me up at about 4.00am. Ben confessed that he has indeed taken things for granted so much that it never crossed his mind for once that he could be sent packing from his job any time.

Today, Ben has chain of businesses (some of which are explained in series 1 & 2 of my books) across Lagos.

What about you, friend? Have you thought about the possibility of being your own boss some day or running a part time business? If the answer is YES, you need to get to work immediately. Now that the government has put a restriction of forex and importation, attention has switched to domestic businesses. Both the federal and state governments have started encouraging small and medium scale businesses to pull their weights as well as encourage banks / microfinance to reduce lending rates for entrepreneurs. 

As I reiterated earlier, if you have start the last few years waiting for the right time to invest, 2016 hosts the momentum.  The time to start any home grown business is NOW!

Let me use the opportunity to chirp in this. Some years ago, I have the privilege of writing some entrepreneur-friendly books (Money Spinning businesses to with N3000,000 & Above; What To Do When You Lose Your Job and, of course, my number one bestseller – Businesses To Start With Less Than N50,000 series 1 & 2)! I believe they can come in handy for entrepreneurs as they brainstorm for the right course of action to take. The literature received rave review in the Nigerian media (THISDAY, Sun Newspaper & some online blogs to be specific). 

They are products of a two-year well researched work which explain in details myriad of small businesses (over 200+) suitable for Nigerian clime, how to go about establishing them as well as how much capital you might need to get started.

As I explained in the books, you need not quit your job. Try starting small and steady until you have fully convinced yourself that you can do it full time. You don’t have to wait to be told to leave before you start planning your future.

After all, Rome was not built in a day!

Just like millions of other Nigerians, I believe this country will be great again.

God bless Nigeria!!!

Culled from

For those interested on getting the books, please click the link below:
     Money Spinning businesses to with N3000,000 & Above
     What To Do When You Lose Your Job
         Businesses To Start With Less Than N50,000

Wednesday, 13 January 2016

How Orkar's 1990's Coup Speech Landed Him in Babangida's Trap (BLAST FROM THE PAST)

Babangida                                          Orkar

The history of Nigerian military coup d'etat from the first Republic to date is replete with interesting facts.

Perhaps the one I find a little bit disappointed was that of the Late Major Gideon Gwaza Orkar's abortive coup.

Major Gideon Gwaza Orkar, a Tiv who hailed from Benue State, was a Nigerian military officer who staged a violent coup against the government of General Ibrahim Babangida on April 22, 1990.

Orkar and his conspirators seized the FRCN radio station, various military posts around Lagos, the Dodan Barracks, Lagos, the military headquarters and presidential residence. 

The then head of state, General Ibrahim Babangida was also present when the barracks were attacked but managed to escape by a back route.

In his coup address, amongst other things, Orkar called for the consideration of an excision of five northern states.

Below is excerpt of his speech:

Fellow Nigerian citizens,
On behalf of the patriotic and well-meaning peoples of the Middle Belt and the southern parts of this country, I , Major Gideon Orka, wish to happily inform you of the successful ousting of the dictatorial, corrupt, drug baronish, evil man, deceitful, homo-sexually-centered, prodigalistic, un-patriotic administration of General Ibrahim Badamosi Babangida. We have equally commenced their trials for unabated corruption, mismanagement of national economy, the murders of Dele Giwa, Major-General Mamman Vasta, with other officers as there was no attempted coup but mere intentions that were yet to materialize and other human rights violations.

The National Guard already in its formative stage is disbanded with immediate effect. Decrees Number 2 and 46 are hereby abrogated. We wish to emphasis that this is not just another coup but a well conceived, planned and executed revolution for the marginalized, oppressed and enslaved peoples of the Middle Belt and the south with a view to freeing ourselves and children yet unborn from eternal slavery and colonization by a clique of this country.

Our history is replete with numerous and uncontrollable instances of callous and insensitive dominatory repressive intrigues by those who think it is their birthright to dominate till eternity the political and economic privileges of this great country to the exclusion of the people of the Middle Belt and the south. They have almost succeeded in subjugating the Middle Belt and making them voiceless and now extending same to the south.

It is our unflinching belief that this quest for domination, oppression and marginalization is against the wish of God and therefore, must be resisted with the vehemence. Anything that has a beginning must have an end. It will also suffice here to state that all Nigerians without skeleton in their cupboards need not to be afraid of this change. However, those with skeleton in their cupboards have all reasons to fear, because the time of reckoning has come.

For the avoidance of doubt, we wish to state the three primary reasons why we have decided to oust the satanic Babangida administration. The reasons are as follows:

(a) To stop Babangida’s desire to cunningly, install himself as Nigeria’s life president at all costs and by so doing, retard the progress of this country for life. In order to be able to achieve this undesirable goals of his, he has evidently started destroying those groups and sections he perceived as being able to question his desires. Examples of groups already neutralized, pitched against one another or completely destroyed are:

(1) The Sokoto caliphate by installing an unwanted Sultan to cause division within the hitherto strong Sokoto caliphate.

(2) The destruction of the peoples of Plateau State, especially the Lantang people, as a balancing force in the body politics of this country.

(3) The buying of the press by generous monetary favours and the usage of State Security Service, SSS, as a tool of terror.

(4) The intent to cow the students by the promulgation of the draconian decree Number 47.

(5) The cowing of the university teaching and non-teaching staff by an intended massive purge, using the 150 million dollar loan as the necessitating factor.

(6) Deliberately withholding funds to the armed forces to make them ineffective and also crowning his diabolical scheme through the intended retrenchment of more than half of the members of the armed forces. 
The convicted coupists

Other pointers that give credence to his desire to become a life president against the wishes of the people are:

(1) His appointment of himself as a minister of defense, his putting under his direct control the SSS, his deliberate manipulation of the transition programme, his introduction of inconceivable, unrealistic and impossible political options, his recent fraternisation with other African leaders that have installed themselves as life presidents and his dogged determination to create a secret force called the national guard, independent of the armed forces and the police which will be answerable to himself alone, both operationally and administratively.

It is our strong view that this kind of dictatorial desire of Babangida is unacceptable to Nigerians of the 1990’s, and, therefore, must be resisted by all. Another major reason for the change is the need to stop intrigues, domination and internal colonisation of the Nigerian state by the so-called chosen few.

This, in our view, has been and is still responsible for 90 percent of the problems of Nigerians. This indeed has been the major clog in our wheel of progress. This clique has an unabated penchant for domination and unrivalled fostering of mediocrity and outright detest for accountability, all put together have been our undoing as a nation. This will ever remain our threat if not checked immediately.

It is strongly believed that without the intrigues perpetrated by this clique and misrule, Nigeria will have in all ways achieved developmental virtues comparable to those in Korea, Taiwan, Brazil, India, and even Japan. Evidence, therefore, this cancerous dominance has as a factor constituted by a major and unpardonable clog in the wheel of progress of the Nigerian state. (Sic) It is suffice to mention a few distasteful intrigues engineered by this group of Nigerians in recent past. These are:

(1)    The shabby and dishonourable treatment meted on the longest serving Nigerian general in the person of General Domkat Bali, who in actual fact had given credibility to the Babangida administration.

(2) The wholesale hijacking of Babangida’s administration by the all powerful clique.

(3) The disgraceful and inexplicable removal of Commodore Ebitu Ukiwe, Professor Tam David-West, Mr. Aret Adams and so on from office.

(4) The now-pervasive and on-going retrenchment of Middle Belt and southerners from public offices and their instant replacement by the favoured class and their stooges.

(5) The deliberate disruption of the educational culture and retarding its place to suit the favoured class to the detriment of other educational minded parts of this country.

(6) The deliberate impoverishment of the peoples from the Middle Belt and the south, making them working ghosts and feeding on the formulae of 0-1-1- or 0-0-0 while the aristocratic class and their stooges are living in absolute affluence on a daily basis without working for it.
(7) Other countless examples of the exploitative, oppressive, dirty games of intrigues of its class, where people and stooges that can best be described by the fact that even though they contribute very little economically to the well being of Nigeria, they have over the years served and presided over the supposedly national wealth derived in the main from the Middle Belt and the southern part of this country, while the people from these parts of the country have been completely deprived from benefiting from the resources given to them by God.
(8) The third reason for the change is the need to lay a strong egalitarian foundation for the real democratic take off of the Nigerian state or states as they circumstances may dictate. In the light of all the above and in recognition of the negativeness of the aforementioned aristocratic factor, the overall progress of the Nigerian state a temporary decision to excise the following states namely, Sokoto, Borno, Katsina, Kano and Bauchi states from the Federal Republic of Nigeria comes into effect immediately until the following conditions are met.

The conditions to be met to necessitate the re-absorption of the aforementioned states are as following:

(a) To install the rightful heir to the Sultanate, Alhaji Maccido, who is the people’s choice.
(b) To send a delegation led by the real and recognised Sultan Alhaji Maccido to the federal government to vouch that the feudalistic and aristocratic quest for domination and operation will be a thing of the past and will never be practised in any part of the Nigeria state.

By the same token, all citizens of the five states already mentioned are temporarily suspended from all public and private offices in Middle Belt and southern parts of this country until the mentioned conditions above are met.

They are also required to move back to their various states within one week from today. They will, however, be allowed to return and joint the Federal Republic of Nigeria when the stipulated conditions are met. In the same vein, all citizens of the Middle Belt and the south are required to come back to their various states pending when the so-called all-in-all Nigerians meet the conditions that will ensure a united Nigeria. A word is enough for the wise.

This exercise will not be complete without purging corrupt public officials and recovering their ill-gotten wealth, since the days of the oil boom till date. Even in these hard times, when Nigerians are dying from hunger, trekking many miles to work for lack of transportation, a few other Nigerians with complete impunity are living in unbelievable affluence both inside and outside the country.

We are extremely determined to recover all ill-gotten wealth back to the public treasury for the use of the masses of our people. You are all advised to remain calm as there is no cause for alarm. We are fully in control of the situation as directed by God. 

All airports, seaports and borders are closed forthwith. The former Armed Forces Ruling Council is now disbanded and replaced with National Ruling Council to be chaired by the head of state with other members being a civilian vice-head of state, service chiefs, inspector general of police, one representative each from NLC, NUJ, NBA, and NANS.

A curfew is hereby imposed from 8 p.m. to 6 a.m. until further notice. All members of the armed forces and the police forces are hereby confined to their respective barracks. All unlawful and criminal acts by those attempting to cause chaos will be ruthlessly crushed.

Be warned as we are prepared at all costs to defend the new order. All radio stations are hereby advised to hook on permanently to the national network programme until further notice.

Long live all true patriots of this great country of ours.

May God and Allah through his bountiful mercies bless us all.

Great speech, you might say. Unfortunately, the coup was crushed by the Babangida regime and Orkar was executed for his role.

Major Orkar along with 41 other conspirators were convicted of treason and executed by firing squad on July 27 1990 by the government of General Ibrahim Babangida.

When quizzed by a reporter with Vanguard Newspaper during his 74th Birthday ceremony in August 2015, hear him:

One of the major challenges your administration faced was the Gideon Okar coup where people thought death had finally gotten you. How did you escape?

"I can remember very well that I had some loyal officers who were supposed to be my protectors and my body guard.

"Initially they told me to leave but I told them no, I am not leaving anywhere but they remained steadfast and later I took my family outside Dodan Barracks and I joined my guards. So we went out of Dodan Barracks and we went to a safe house where we got in contact with loyal troops. May God bless Sani Abacha.  

"Sani Abacha was the chief of army staff. He got in touch with me, I got in touch with him and we sat down and talked on what we were going to do. Abacha and I rallied the loyal troops and then I left my safe house and joined Abacha in his house.  That was how I escaped."

REFERENCES: Nowa Omoigui, MD. "The Orkar Coup of April 22, 1990". Segun Toyin Dawodu

"April 1990 Coup D'etat Speech". April 1990 Coup Speech DAWODU.COM

African concord. (1990). The Coup Major
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